DPR
Dissociated Pain Release
A self-help technique developed by a trauma survivor
Anne MacMillan, MLA
Survivor, Consultant, Coach
Master's Clinical Psychology - Harvard University
Dissociated Pain Release
Self-Help Trauma Support
Dissociated Pain Release
Dissociated Pain Release (DPR) is a self-help technique that allows users to release emotional pain from trauma without re-experiencing it. It is based on the idea that emotional pain is stored in the mind, body, and nervous system and that the stored pain causes distress and discomfort in the present, whether the trauma was a recent event or something that happened many years ago.
There is no need for a DPR user to know where any emotional pain came from. All a user needs to know is that they are currently experiencing unwanted emotional pain and that they would like to release that pain and feel better -- quickly.
Most importantly, in DPR, emotional pains are released while the user is dissociated from them -- allowing the user to process any trauma or distress without being forced to relive the original traumatic experience.
Examples of emotional pain that can be released from the body and nervous system through DPR include rage, anger, shame, sadness, guilt, grief, loneliness, abandonment, anxiety, and fear.
Likewise, DRP allows users to release any stored sensations associated with physical pain or forms of bodily discomfort that happened in the past. DPR users can release sensations of nausea, dizziness, cold, being drugged, etc. Again, all these sensations are released without the DRP user re-experiencing the original potency of any traumatic event. Often DPR users release pain without even knowing what the original traumatic event may have been.
DPR has three cyclical steps: (A) identify pain to release, (B) dissociate from the pain, and (C) release the pain. Once understood, DPR is a simple, repetitive process that applies in many self-help situations. Any user employing DPR expects to complete its A-B-C cycle several times in any one self-help session. It is understood that there may be several painful emotions, different forms of physical pain and other negative bodily sensations that require release, making time and repetition necessary.
IMPORTANT
* DPR is not trauma therapy.
Anne is not a therapist and does not support individuals through trauma therapy. Anne teaches a self-help technique that individuals can apply to many situations in their everyday lives and that they have a right to use to manage any experiences they choose, traumatic or not. It is always recommended that trauma survivors hire a licensed trauma therapists whenever possible. Call 911 in any emergency.
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Anne MacMillan, MLA
Survivor, Consultant, Coach, Educator
Master's Clinical Psychology, Harvard Univerisity
IMPORTANT
* DPR is not trauma therapy.
Anne is not a therapist and does not support individuals through trauma therapy. Anne teaches a self-help technique that individuals can apply to many situations in their everyday lives and that they have a right to use to manage any experiences they choose, traumatic or not.
It is always recommended that trauma survivors hire a licensed trauma therapists whenever possible. Call 911 in any emergency.
Feeling Suicidal?
Find a Helpline:
https://findahelpline.com/
About Me
Like many others, I grew up in a household that didn't offer me the basic protections all children need. I experienced extreme trauma as a very young child and, unfortunately, that trauma continued into my adolescence and adulthood.
I survived adolescence emotionally by focusing on studying contemporary dance, helping me process my emotions and increase my body awareness. As a young adult in my twenties, I was exposed to relaxation and meditation techniques and the idea that healing that comes naturally when we move our eyes as we dream.
In my mid-twenties, memories of traumatic events that had happened during my early childhood began to return to my consciousness. I knew about EMDR (Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy for trauma, but wasn't in a situation that allowed me consistent access to a trauma therapist.
So, I began working through my traumatic memories on my own, combining what I'd learned about the emotions I felt in my body through dancing with relaxation and visualization techniques. I added what I decided to call REM Simulation -- or Rapid Eye Movement Simulation. REM sleep is the deep dreaming sleep in which humans naturally process emotions.
The result was a self-help technique that made it possible for me to work through the terrible emotions associated with traumatic events that had occurred in my past and regain the sense of emotional stability I needed -- all without having an opportunity to get the therapeutic support I needed.
Dissociated Pain Release
I dubbed my self-help technique DPR, or Dissociated Pain Release, and decided that I didn't want it to ever become something that anyone with an advanced degree and a lot of privilege could tell people they weren't qualified to perform at home on their own.
Therapy is wonderful and everyone who has access to a therapist should take advantage of that privilege. But recovery strategies should be available to anyone anywhere. That's what DPR is about for me.
From my perspective, DPR is nothing more than a collection of practical ideas put together in one package to help all of us get through the difficult emotions humans feel. It's valuable because it works and it uses human's natural REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep processing methods.
My Newest Blog Posts
Divorce and Autism's Theory of Mind Deficits
“What neurodiverse families need is for laws and attorneys to protect both spouses and the children.”
Autism and Divorce:
Partners with autism lack the immediate empathy and theory of mind (or ability to see their spouses' perspectives) that would otherwise help them understand of putting a halt to their own aggressions during divorce (Baron-Cohen, 1995; Frith & Happe, 1999).
It is not uncommon for partners going through divorce to have different ideas about what is “fair.” In neurodiverse relationships, however, the partner with autism’s theory of mind deficits and lack of immediate empathy prevents insight into the neurotypical partner’s intentions and perspective. While there are certainly many exceptions, the partner with autism will often believe that what is “fair” is for them to take all or almost all of the resources.
The partner with autism may be excessively pedantic, over-focusing on irrelevant details and may have immature conflict resolution strategies that remain at the level of an ‘eye for an eye’ and ‘you started it so I can use any retribution that I like.’
This dynamic is especially difficult in marriages in which one partner has been the provider and the other has raised the children. If the partner with autism is the provider, they may feel that there is no need to pay alimony and that the children should lose the other parent. If the partner with autism has cared for the children, they may feel that the provider must continue to sacrifice everything even if that means that the provider must work full time while paying child support and alimony and with hardly enough money to pay for reasonable housing.
In most cases, the neurotypical partner would have been willing to agree to an equitable solution early on in the divorce. Theory of mind skills help people understand why it is in their own best interests and the family’s best interests to stop fighting. Their perspective taking skills help them have a more accurate understanding of what is closer to fair.
The partners with autism do not have the capacity to understand how much harm they are causing. They will feel the effects of the harm, along with everyone else, but they will mistakenly assume it was the neurotypical partners’ fault instead of realizing their attorneys are taking advantage of their theory of mind deficits and are financially exploiting the family as a whole.
Many neurodiverse divorces cost far too much money and go on for years even when the family’s collective net worth does not justify the fight. This dynamic is very traumatic for families and children, overloads courtrooms with unnecessary cases of fighting ex-spouses, and costs the tax payer. Abolishing fault divorce and having laws that require the use of equations will do much to end high-conflict neurodiverse divorce.
Countries and states that don’t have laws that protect both spouses equally make it very difficult for unhappy spouses to achieve divorce, especially when children are present. This inequality is destructive because mixed-neurological marriages are vulnerable to trauma and domestic abuse and children and both spouses can be harmed when divorce isn’t easily attainable.
What the family needs is for laws and attorneys to protect both spouses and the children. Attorneys who don’t mind helping their clients exploit the legal system to meet their objectives will not help their clients with autism achieve happiness and success after marriage, but will line their own pockets with a distressed family’s money.
Mediation is not likely to be successful because theory of mind skills are necessary to collaborate towards solutions that work for the family as a whole. Sending neurodiverse couples to mediation may do little more than increase the cost of the divorce for the family. Partnerships that include abuse should not be eligible for mediation and mediators who suspect abuse should discontinue mediation.
References:
Baron-Cohen, S. (1995). Mindblindness: An essay on autism and theory of mind. Boston: MIT Press.
Frith, U. & Happe, F. (1999). Theory of Mind and self-consciousness; what is it like to be autistic? Mind and Language, 14, 1–22.
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