DPR
Dissociated Pain Release
A self-help technique developed by a trauma survivor
Anne MacMillan, MLA
Survivor, Consultant, Coach
Master's Clinical Psychology - Harvard University
Dissociated Pain Release
Self-Help Trauma Support
Dissociated Pain Release
Dissociated Pain Release (DPR) is a self-help technique that allows users to release emotional pain from trauma without re-experiencing it. It is based on the idea that emotional pain is stored in the mind, body, and nervous system and that the stored pain causes distress and discomfort in the present, whether the trauma was a recent event or something that happened many years ago.
There is no need for a DPR user to know where any emotional pain came from. All a user needs to know is that they are currently experiencing unwanted emotional pain and that they would like to release that pain and feel better -- quickly.
Most importantly, in DPR, emotional pains are released while the user is dissociated from them -- allowing the user to process any trauma or distress without being forced to relive the original traumatic experience.
Examples of emotional pain that can be released from the body and nervous system through DPR include rage, anger, shame, sadness, guilt, grief, loneliness, abandonment, anxiety, and fear.
Likewise, DRP allows users to release any stored sensations associated with physical pain or forms of bodily discomfort that happened in the past. DPR users can release sensations of nausea, dizziness, cold, being drugged, etc. Again, all these sensations are released without the DRP user re-experiencing the original potency of any traumatic event. Often DPR users release pain without even knowing what the original traumatic event may have been.
DPR has three cyclical steps: (A) identify pain to release, (B) dissociate from the pain, and (C) release the pain. Once understood, DPR is a simple, repetitive process that applies in many self-help situations. Any user employing DPR expects to complete its A-B-C cycle several times in any one self-help session. It is understood that there may be several painful emotions, different forms of physical pain and other negative bodily sensations that require release, making time and repetition necessary.
IMPORTANT
* DPR is not trauma therapy.
Anne is not a therapist and does not support individuals through trauma therapy. Anne teaches a self-help technique that individuals can apply to many situations in their everyday lives and that they have a right to use to manage any experiences they choose, traumatic or not. It is always recommended that trauma survivors hire a licensed trauma therapists whenever possible. Call 911 in any emergency.
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Anne MacMillan, MLA
Survivor, Consultant, Coach, Educator
Master's Clinical Psychology, Harvard Univerisity
IMPORTANT
* DPR is not trauma therapy.
Anne is not a therapist and does not support individuals through trauma therapy. Anne teaches a self-help technique that individuals can apply to many situations in their everyday lives and that they have a right to use to manage any experiences they choose, traumatic or not.
It is always recommended that trauma survivors hire a licensed trauma therapists whenever possible. Call 911 in any emergency.
Feeling Suicidal?
Find a Helpline:
https://findahelpline.com/
About Me
Like many others, I grew up in a household that didn't offer me the basic protections all children need. I experienced extreme trauma as a very young child and, unfortunately, that trauma continued into my adolescence and adulthood.
I survived adolescence emotionally by focusing on studying contemporary dance, helping me process my emotions and increase my body awareness. As a young adult in my twenties, I was exposed to relaxation and meditation techniques and the idea that healing that comes naturally when we move our eyes as we dream.
In my mid-twenties, memories of traumatic events that had happened during my early childhood began to return to my consciousness. I knew about EMDR (Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy for trauma, but wasn't in a situation that allowed me consistent access to a trauma therapist.
So, I began working through my traumatic memories on my own, combining what I'd learned about the emotions I felt in my body through dancing with relaxation and visualization techniques. I added what I decided to call REM Simulation -- or Rapid Eye Movement Simulation. REM sleep is the deep dreaming sleep in which humans naturally process emotions.
The result was a self-help technique that made it possible for me to work through the terrible emotions associated with traumatic events that had occurred in my past and regain the sense of emotional stability I needed -- all without having an opportunity to get the therapeutic support I needed.
Dissociated Pain Release
I dubbed my self-help technique DPR, or Dissociated Pain Release, and decided that I didn't want it to ever become something that anyone with an advanced degree and a lot of privilege could tell people they weren't qualified to perform at home on their own.
Therapy is wonderful and everyone who has access to a therapist should take advantage of that privilege. But recovery strategies should be available to anyone anywhere. That's what DPR is about for me.
From my perspective, DPR is nothing more than a collection of practical ideas put together in one package to help all of us get through the difficult emotions humans feel. It's valuable because it works and it uses human's natural REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep processing methods.
My Newest Blog Posts
It Takes Two to Tango
“The moral of the adage should be the opposite. In actuality, it takes two to get along.”
What happens when you're not safe to walk away from a fight?
"It takes two to tango" is an old adage often interpreted to mean that fights only happen because both people are participating.
Its moral is: if you’re part of a fight, it’s your fault, too. You wouldn’t be in the fight if you weren’t choosing to be in it. And, if you want to stop a fight that you’re part of, stop your half of the fight and the fight will end.
And, that’s true if you have the power to walk away from a fight. An adult can choose to leave any fight that it’s safe to leave. And by leaving you win…..
But what happens when you’re not safe to walk away from a fight? What if you can’t get away from the other person? What if there are other people, possibly small children, depending on you to stay in the fight?
If you can’t walk away, is healthy to always allow yourself to lose just to keep the peace? Is it better to start fighting back?
The moral of the adage should be the opposite. In actuality, it takes two to get along. It takes two to work together. It takes two to be a team. It takes two to collaborate.
Neurodiverse relationships are rife with fighting and low on teamwork and collaboration. Teamwork and collaboration are easier when both people have theory of mind skills. When each partner can somewhat accurately perceive the other persons’ perspective and intentions, they can more easily find ways to work together for the mutual benefit of both.
When only one of the two people in a relationship has theory of mind skills, that person, the neurotypical partner, is working to be aware of the other partner’s, the ASD partner’s, intentions and perceptions. Yet at the same time, the partner with ASD isn’t keeping in mind the neurotypical partners’ intentions and perceptions. The result is that both partners are thinking about the ASD partners’ intentions and needs and only the neurotypical partner is thinking about the neurotypical partner’s needs.
Things can get out of balance after a while, favoring the partner with ASD’s needs. And people with ASD do, at no fault of their own, have a lot of needs.
In marriage, ASD partners’ needs do not negate the needs of neurotypical partners who, over time, become worn due to the lack of reciprocity in communication, caregiving and connected sexuality and affection.
A marriage is different than a parent-child relationship, a therapist-client relationship, or a teacher-student relationship. Ideally, it is a relationship of equality in which both partners are working together or caring for each other. But in mixed-neurological marriages, due to the difference in theory of mind skills between the partners, this kind of reciprocity and teamwork doesn’t happen.
It does take two to tango. Watch the dance. It is a neurotypical dance with both partners responding to the other. It is about connection, eye contact, sexuality, and working together for the benefit of both. The tango is a dance of social communication and autism affects social communication. The tango can’t happen in neurodiverse marriages because only one partner’s brain knows how to do the dance.
It takes two to tango.
It takes two to work together.
It only takes one to perpetuate a fight and it’s not always possible for the other spouse to walk away
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anne@neurodiversemarriage.com
Text or Call: (617) 996-7239 (United States)